This last month was a bit of a roller coaster for me in that I was surrounded by quite a lot of volatility and anger. Despite the fact I fairly recently completed the wonderful Peace Ambassador training, I don’t know if I handled it very well. (See https://theshiftnetwork.com/WhatTheBleep/recording)
The blessing was it helped me examine some of my early life again in more depth and provided an opportunity to heal more fully, some old deep wounds. I was raised in an environment of panic and overwhelm. I was the youngest of 3 children and my older sister was very disturbed; one of the first children to be diagnosed autistic in a time where there was very little constructive support or help. An angry and exhausted mother and an older brother who resented me and showed it with words as well as physical force. I was the peace-maker and felt responsible or like I somehow had to make things better. A common problem for many women … over-working, over-giving over-trying and feeling responsible for others. Facing this present situation helped me gain some more clarity and find more kindness and self- love. Also to embrace the feminine and better self-care without burning out and trying to fix everyone.
It also helped me to release more deeply all sense of guilt and fear of being punished and not being good enough.Separation consciousness and the old punishment paradigm deals with anger and upset with blame, make-wrong and punishment. That you the perpetrator of the “wrong doing” are bad, not good-enough and worthless. Rather than remembering our intrinsic goodness as sacred human beings who can make mistakes, get things wrong and behave badly the whole person is seen as bad, wrong, evil etc etc And tragically from that place we may then justify all kinds of recriminations and more awful behaviour and then we are in the negative spiral of escalating hate. As Gandhi said of that mentality of An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, ends up with everyone toothless and blind. When we really release all ideas of punishment and revenge we return to the possibility of Heaven on earth as we join in love.
Learning clear, nonviolent ways of communication is so important and can make such a difference, where we engage in dialogue and truly listening to one another, we really can transform our world. When we learn to express our needs clearly and to speak in ways that encourage dialogue and that are non-judgmental. (See www.nonviolentcommunication.com) In these times of great change every small thing we can do to promote peace is vital.I think in my recent experiences, what I was being asked to learn to hold better boundaries as well as being non-reactive and seeing the great hurt behind the other persons anger. Letting go of people-pleasing and coming into that inner sovereignty and power. The white Lions have been entering my consciousness very much recently. Thinking of the power of their roar. The Lion’s roar sets a clear boundary without anger, it’s more a fierceness, This is it, Don’t mess with me, I’m in my authority. When there is weakness or uncertainty, sometimes to assert our rights one creates a fight or a war to force the separation or boundary that somewhere may now be necessary.
Here are the 4 sacred skills of the Peacemaker, courtesy of James O’Dea, a luminary and a powerful agent for peace, paraphrased a bit by me.
1) Learning to read subtle energy
When we learn to read energy and remain in our centre we can then much more readily clearly read what is going on in the other and be able to respond to it far more compassionately and creatively. The first step of becoming a Peacemaker is to learn how to work with and process energy. We learn how to see what is really going on and then how to process it without getting overwhelmed by or stuck in it. We learn how to witness our own reactions to other people and situations and to allow our own triggered energy to release consciously and not by dumping on the other.
2) Coming from your essence : as you do the inner work and learn to process energy, you will become aware of your own essence and a very powerful peace that exists inside of you. This is the essence you want to tap into as a Peacemaker and it does become more clear and accessible as you allow yourself to release your own energetic reactions and blocks.
3) Speaking to the essence in the other person
Speaking to essence: as you start to experience your deeper essence, you learn to speak to it and from it. This is the part of you that you bring forth as a Peacemaker that helps transform difficult, negative situations. This is the part of you that provides a vision of what is possible. This enables you to stay with the sacred divine being in the other person no matter what they may be presenting to you on top of that.
4) Connecting the inner and outer worldsConnect the inner and outer. As we do the inner work of learning to process energy and to come and speak from essence, it is important that we connect the inner with the outer. As the Dalai Lama said, “It is not good enough to have compassion, we must have compassion and act.” We must learn to bring the inner work to the outer world as we strive to become peacemakers. We then begin to do the actions that are in front of us in our life calling for our service and contribution to life and peace.
Forgiving the unforgivable
I’ve just finished reading a remarkable book, Forgiving the unforgivable, by Master Charles Cannon, (www.forgivingtheunforgivable.com) In it he states… It is paradoxical that forgiveness is such an important part of ending the escalating cycle of violence on our planet yet, in the end, forgiveness is really only necessary when a judgement has been made! Forgiveness actually becomes irrelevant when you recognize there is no “other” And, that there is no right or wrong. What needs forgiving is yourself and your investment in the illusion of separation and the suffering that has caused. Also, can you forgive yourself for your limiting beliefs, for your “mistakes?” Can you know from the truthful perspective there are no mistakes! All experience is valid. You couldn’t be here now except for all the experiences that preceded this moment, everything has grown you, including the confusion, delusions, even your guilt….
Imagine a world where there is no need for forgiveness because that primary judgement is simply not actualized. Instead compassion flows constantly between individuals experiencing their oneness together.
Thanks for reading this my second blog as I engage in the process of becoming supersonic with technology. I still have to learn how to add pictures
Much love, peace and blessings to all